My Most Important Meditation Insight

I’ve written ad nauseam about meditation, and you’re probably tired of hearing about it. But it is an endlessly important topic for a Buddhist, and there is so much to say. However, I had an insight, a slight moment of awakening this morning as I meditated. My monkey mind did its thing, jumping from thought to thought like a wild animal. Nowadays though, I am adept at letting it do its things. My thoughts and feelings have lost much of their juice. I don’t take myself so seriously anymore (but of course, I still take myself very very seriously.)

As I watching this anxious medley of thoughts, feelings, and sensations in meditation that I call “myself,” a voice suddenly said to me, “there’s nothing to do.” And I smiled. And I laughed a bit. There’s nothing to do.

You’re probably wondering what this means. (You’re also probably wondering if I have finally lost it, just one too many mushroom trips for my fragile brain.) Let’s put it this way, I have always needed to do something. Even the act of starting to meditate was built on desire. I started meditating because I wanted things whether it was inner peace or enlightenment or maybe just some relief from my stupid anxious thoughts. And here’s the thing, for all of my life, my existence has been built on my desires, more specifically my likes and dislikes. I wanted to find pleasure and things I enjoyed, and I…