Returning to New York City

“New York is an ugly city, a dirty city. Its climate is a scandal, its politics are used to frighten children, its traffic is madness, its competition is murderous. But there is one thing about it — once you have lived in New York and it has become your home, no place else is good enough.”- John Steinbeck

I left New York in a panic. It was June 2020. New York had suffered more death than it had known since 2001. From March to June over 20,000 people had died in New York City because of Covid 19. It was a terrifying time. The entire city’s anxiety was palpable. My anxiety made me feel fatigued in a way I have never known. Trapped in a 600 square foot apartment with nowhere to go, I was depressed, lonely, and hated the shithole that was New York.

My wife’s family lives in Vancouver, Canada. In March 2020 she went to go visit her family. Soon after the borders closed. We were separated. I thought I would be fine, of course. But I wasn’t. I was soon left in a city that had shut down with thousands dying around me. I worked, of course. But as many of my patients could attest, my anxiety was high, and I was never as engaged as I would have liked. But on June 9, 2020, Canada and the United States agreed to allow spouses to enter the country to be reunited as a compassionate COVID measure. The second the news was announced, I bought a ticket and left. I was going to be reunited…