Thoughts On Emotional Burnout, Compassion Fatigue from a Therapist’s Experience

Today the cool ocean air flicks my skin like fingertips. I am walking, lost in melancholy, lost in grief, but somehow still happy. I don’t know if happiness can exist without melancholy. They exist together, cohabiting like gophers burrowing for warmth. For every feeling an equal and opposite feeling accompanies it.

Today there is peace in observation. I observe the strange house painted blue like a summer sky, and the rusted basketball hoop that has fallen over from the heavy gusts of wind from last night. I can feel my anxieties present, wanting to worry about a patient I feel like I failed or about the emotional exhaustion I’ve been feeling of late. I wonder about my abilities, I wonder if I am good enough or if I will ever be good enough. But today these voices are quieted down because for now. I am present.

I have felt burnt out of late. It’s not hard to understand why. COVID has lasted a year. I stare at my computer screen for 30 hours a week, talking to computer projections of people. I miss people who aren’t my bubble. I miss my office and sitting across from someone and experiencing their body language and presence.

Additionally, my patients have been suffering a lot this year. They are isolated, bored, and sometimes do not want to live. I am here to…